Want to Eat My Face

Bored this week. Our company has a shut down the last two weeks of the year, but since I am considered “essential”, I was asked to work. Well, not asked. Told. But it’s ok; means I don’t have to use any of my vacation time.

Since there is no one else here, that means though, that no work is being generated and I’m bored. It follows then, that the most asinine things amuse and enrich the dullest of days….

Did you know that you can wish someone Merry Christmas in Klingon? It’s true – and modify it for a person or for a whole GROUP of Klingons!

QISmaS DatIvjaj 'ej DIS chu' DatIvjaj (sg)

QISmaS botIvjaj 'ej DIS chu' botIvjaj (pl)

This may come in handy if my next obsessive phase is set to stun.

Crises were then averted when I was able to email some scanned documents.

High drama then ensued when someone came up to me and ask if I knew why there were no telephones in any of the conference rooms. Indeed, this was odd. I did some investigation. First I called reception:

“Can you tell me if conference room phones have been secured through the shut down?”

“No. You can call security.”

“Can you put me through?”

“Yeah.”

Ring ring ring.

“Security.” chew, chew chew, smack, swallow.

“Who’s this?”

Chew; “Kim Il Stalker”, (oh sorry, ‘nother blog), “Tim.” the sounds of tongue cleaning one’s teeth can be heard.

“Tim, can you tell my why there are no phones in the conference rooms on my floor?”

“Nope.”

“Should it be reported?”

“I don’t know why it should be.”

“If the phones were stolen, shouldn’t I be making you aware of it?”

“OH! THEY’VE BEEN STOLEN?” No chewing now.

“I don’t know that they’ve been stolen Tim, I’m trying to determine where they might be.”

“You can talk to my boss.”

“Great. Can you transfer me?”

Ring ring ring.

“Security"

“Hi, who’s this?”

Suspicious and annoyed brief pause, contemplating my temerity in demanding a first name.

“Rosella."

“Hi, Rosella, can you tell my why there are no phones in the conference rooms on my floor?”

“Uh, no."

“Should that be reported?”

Thick with attitude, and this is a supervisor, mind you. “Uh, phones is not a security issue maam."

“Are stolen phones a security issue Rosella?”

You can almost hear her spine snap as it straightens up with the prospect of office chicanery.

“OH! Yes! They were stolen?"

“I don’t know Rosella, I only know that there were phones there, and they are no longer there. It’s possible they were secured for the shutdown, but I can’t find anyone with any information.”

“Well, we can fill something out,"

In the meantime, the other “essential” person in the department came waltzing over – non-security personnel by the way. His investigative work complete. And yes, the phones were secured in a safe location.

“Never mind Rosella, we got it.”

Nervous, and finally respectful voice was turned on, “OK, thank you, maam."

See? Drama. It’s gonna be a loooooong 2 weeks.

Oh, and by the way:

메리 크리스마스 잘 지내고 새해 복 많이 받으세요
meli kliseumaseu jal ji naego saehae pog manhi pateuseyo

(“Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, you’re doing well”)