Thursday, December 2, 2010


Oh my teeth.

Had some tooth drama back in October. Jaw bone infection, abscess, dentist-endodontists-periodontologists, antibiotics, appointments, oral surgeons, exhaustive dental benefit review, a little pleading, a lot of frustrated disappointment and anxiety on my part.

In the end, I have to have a lot of work done. A lot. Like the cost of a really nice used car in my mouth. Insurance companies and employers - are not big fans of modern dentistry FYI. Implants are excluded as a paid benefit. Dentures, bridges, Arkansas-mountain-man-teeth-gaps in the front of one's face hole - all paid for. But modern medicine designed to save more natural teeth in the long run; not so much.

I need to have 2 implants, all 4 wisdom teeth removed, a few cavities filled, and my old root canal checked. Along with a few other odds and ends.

For 2010, since my annual maximum benefit is $1500, I decided I could afford to have my wisdom teeth pulled. I've dodged this bullet since I was 17. You know, let this be a lesson to fellow procrastinators: I should have done at 17, when my Dad would have been financially responsible. Or I should have gotten them pulled 15 years ago when I had a spouse contributing to the dental benefit and household expenses. Glad it wasn't done by that freak in 2007, that's for sure. (I just re-read that blog. That hurt!) No. I had to wait until now, more fool I.

The pullin' was scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving. Universally bemoaned, "Awwwww, you'll miss Thanksgiving!" I thought it was brilliant. Four days off from work to heal without taking any sick time - excellent! I was told absolutely no food or liquid 6 hours prior to the surgery. So 7.5 hours before, I took my regular meds, and had a cup of coffee - didn't want to add a caffeine headache on top of tooth pain, now did I? Sooo, clever. I made some bean soup, bought potatoes for mashing. How bad could it be?

Bad. Well, now, not bad as these things go I guess. Could have been worse. My sinus wall could have opened up. I could have been a bleeder. I could have died under the anesthesia (and I needed to go to confession - THAT was stupid!). So, not that bad. Mr. Mississippi Dental Assistant assured me I'd be plenty numb for 6 hours after the surgery. WRONG SIR! My first conscious sensation was pain in the lower right quadrant....uuuhhnnnn then barely a breath later, pain all over my mouth. UUUHHNNNN, it huuuts...dat ogahy?

To be fair, the 2007 Root Canal Debacle left me with more blood and pulp and spit and gore on my face (see above link) than the Mouth Rape of 2010. Hurt plenty, don't get me wrong. Lovely cousins drove me to and from, got me home, settled me in on my couch, while daughter made me instant mashed potatoes and tea. I had to get food on my stomach before I could take the hydrocodone. BTW? Hydrocodone is overrated. 600 mg of ibuprofen did more for me than the narcotics as far as the pain was concerned. Hydrocodone made me crabby and constipated. I'll be looking into pain killing alternatives for the Great Mouth/Wallet Rape 2011.

Still healing. I am rinsing and spitting three times a day, I am now using a syringe to clean food out of the gummy holes twice daily, I brush frequently and in good lock-the-barn-door-now-that-the-cows-are-on-Aunt-Dorothy's-lawn fashion, I floss. All the time. Floss floss floss floss floss!

I'm trying to make friends with this new mouth by sending my tongue out to familiarize itself with all those holes. Holes don't like that. Holes swell up when I do that. Holes say, "No. Leave us alone. We are not ready for company yet. We will call you."

I hope they call soon.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Bit of a Thrill

Interesting day yesterday.  I got out of work early to go to a doctor appointment.  I love my doctor.  He’s a good doctor, kind and patient, listens to me, answers all my questions.  I have a lot of questions.  Their office is something of an anomaly in the medical world I think – I’ve never had to wait more than five minutes before being whisked in for my appointment.  Delightful really.

As an aside, I do not expect this to continue once ObamaCare achieves full throttle.  I enjoy the best medical care in the world right now, however, and do not anticipate with any delight the socialist medicine state we will soon enter.  B@stards.

The visit was made even better after having been given three months of pharmaceutical samples.  I love pharmaceutical samples too.

That done, I was home by 3:00 pm.  Gunner Beagle has been confined to his crate again during the day – he was doing so well, not chewing anything up, not ripping up tissues, or getting into the trash in the kitchen.  But when I came home from work Monday the little fiend had not only chewed up a sneaker (tinnis shoe for my friend Lacie), but he ripped open and gnawed on my favorite k-drama dvd set of all time, “Thank You” with Jang Hyuk.  B@STARD

So as I said, he’s confined to his crate when I’m not home.  He wanted so badly to come out – tail smacking up against the metal, so happy to see me.  I pay Gunner no mind, I changed and went to the gym. 

After that, I started “The Shack” (darn slow start btw, I’m hoping it picks up soon.  Blaaaaahhhhhh.)  Blah blah blah dinner, blah blah blah Legion of Mary, blah blah blah Sun and naked torsoed Jin on LOST. 

As I left to go home, I happened upon two youths stealing beer from my cousin’s outdoor refrigerator.  B@stards!!  They took off, we gave chase (in a car, I’m too damn old to run in the dark, I’d break an ankle), and we caught up to them driving around the compound in their Daddy’s Infinity.  Blah blah blah color blah blah plates blah blah blah make and model.  We called the police (the officers that responded couldn’t have been more unalike; one was 6’10” and the other was 5’1”) and filed a report. 

A bit of a change up in the routine.  Bit of a thrill.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I’m Sad

During a bit of silliness Tuesday night, Guest Blogger Who Hasn’t Guest Blogged In 4 Years and I found Jai on line.  Jai, was cute and flirtatious and I wrote a blog on him back in 2007.  Best. Kisser. Ever.

I connected to him through a social networking site today and he responded pretty quickly. 

He emailed me back and told me his brother, who we all called Zero, died last December.  He had colon cancer.  I think he was just 50 or so.  Bruce shared a birthday with my sister.  It got me thinking of one of my happier memories. 

Bruce was tall, had black hair, freckles, big nose, drove a nice car - it was black and shiny, I have no idea what it was.  I can see him; it's summer, it's hot out, the sun blazing.  Zero had a perpetual sun burn.  My cousin, my sister and I were by the milking parlor.  We had tormented the guys (Zero, Jai, Trace) once they finished milking one morning - I think we ambushed them with shaving cream as they walked out of the milking parlor.

During the skirmish that ensued, Zero grabbed my cousin and held her head over a mud puddle trying to get her to concede defeat. 
"Say I win! Say I win!" 

Much laughter from the onlookers, as my cousin triumphantly squealed out, "I win!"

Aggressively dipping her closer to the mud puddle, Zero cried,  "GAAAAAAA!  NO!! SAY ZERO WINS!"  She finally squealed it out to his satisfaction.  She was safe from the mud bath.

Memories have the power to seal people in time, don't they?  That's where Zero will forever be in my mind.  And I will smile.  And tonight, I will say some prayers for him.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Stupid Snow

It’s been quite a winter.

Using vacation and staying home is no picnic.  I’m not dumb enough to go out in this.  It has it’s pleasures though – I get to spend some pretty silly time with my daughter watching movies, listening to music, and making soup.  Downside is unwatchable daytime television. 

There was a Reba marathon.

Today’s storm is the third in 2 weeks.  The first, Groundhog Day Night, after watching “Lost” with family was light and happy:

Like magical Christmas snow!  Four inches of fluffy joy!  How fun!!  Fat flakes, furry trees, I ran around snapping pictures left and right from my cell.

Friday, February 6, 2010 into February 7, 2010 – Deathsnow 2010 or SNOWPOCALYPSE as it is referred to was another animal.  32” of cold white death:

And today.  Officially termed a blizzard with wind gusts up to 44 mph.  This isn’t Northern Virginia.  It’s New Buffalo, Virginia. 

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Imagination too Active?

One wants to believe that their neighborhood is safe. There are occurrences of theft and depravity in every neighborhood – it’s part of the human condition – and I accept those as a matter of course. My run-ins with Chick have been a slightly entertaining yet very creepy little side-car to condo life, but they do not (yet) make me want to move.

I was further creeped out last year when my daughter spied a peeping Tom outside her bedroom window. We bought heavy curtains the very next day and started locking the door even when we were home.

An event last year added to my concern when my complex hosted a real CSI van in our parking lot. One of the residents “allegedly” strangled his girlfriend, wrapped her in saran wrap, stuffed her body under bed while he continued to utilize her email account to make her friends believe she was still alive. This event, gave me pause and made me look at my neighbors a little differently.

Speed up to present day. No Chick sightings, no more peeping Toms (Gunner thinks he is a much bigger dog than he is and has quite the bark), no more murders. The trash compactor is broken, and it’s been so cold no one seems to want to pick up their dog poop, but otherwise it’s been quiet.

Maybe too quiet.

January 3, 2010 – I’m walking Gunner at roughly 6:30 am. On our route, I pass the apartment I lived in when I first moved to the complex. I generally pay no attention; I pay less attention when the temps are in the teens and the wind chill is in the single digits. I just want Gunner to do his business so I can crawl back into bed.

As I walked by that morning, I paid no mind to the humming noise I heard, until, like a refrigerator – you only notice the noise after it shuts off – the humming stopped. I knew what that sound was. It was the air conditioner. What in the Snow Miser’s name was someone doing with the air conditioner on when the temps were in the teens? I looked up and noticed that the living room light was on, so someone must be home and awake. I thought it odd. I continued on my walk, since Gunner will not be denied.

January 4, 2010 – Same thing. The light was on air conditioner was running. What is with these people? Save on the electric bill and open a window until you cool off. Freaks.

January 5, 2010 – Air conditioner running, the light was off.

I’ve wondered and wondered what could be going on -

  1. The home owners are on vacation and having left when the temperatures were warmer, inadvertently left the air conditioner on. The light bulb is timed to go on and off at certain times.
  2. The residents are from a cooler clime and are struggling to keep cool with all that heat rising up from the floor below.
  3. There has been another murder and the temperature kept at a chilly level will slow the body decay, making it more difficult to assess time of death, the perp having long since fled to Pachuca, Mexico.
  4. There has been another murder and the sick deviant is keeping the body from decay so he may enjoy some intimacies previously avoided since the b*tch wouldn’t keep her big trap shut while she was alive.

There are problems with all these suppositions. But I can think of no others. Thoughts?

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