Wednesday, December 24, 2008

More Boredness

I came to the conclusion today that the company I work for must get a break on their heating bill if they turn on the air conditioning so that it blows directly on my right hand and arm. 

It is the only possible explanation for the cold air that pours out of the vent above me.  I decided to go out in 20 degree weather for lunch so I could get in my car and turn on the heat.  Hell on the mileage, but I was certain I would lose my fingers due to frostbite if I didn’t.

This plan was successful. 

My horoscope on Facebook brought several moments of terror:

You will be seconds away from making a huge mistake, but you will stop yourself just in time. That was close..

Phew.  Crisis averted!  I wonder what the huge mistake was?  Not parking on the deserted second floor of the parking garage?  Not listening to CNN?  Heeding the faxed advice of future self urgently urging me to NOT drink the coffee because it was poisoned? 

I guess I’ll never know.

My Chinese horoscope was a little more direct:

You may be considering taking a class, attending a lecture or traveling soon. If you are still single, it will be at a venue where ideas are shared and explored that you will find new romantic opportunities. If you are already married, your partner may give you a new book to read.

Wow – I AM traveling soon – driving to NY for Christmas!  How did it know that??  (Notice how I glibly ignore the “you may be..” part along with my other  How did it KNOW that I AM SINGLE!!!  MAYBE I’ll finally find my new romantic interest! 

Good thing I am not married to that pathetic cheap book buying bastard.  I’m just sayin’.

Another catastrophe was avoided today when I helped route a dropped envelope to the mail room.  Thank God the company has me here this week.

One day to go.  Legion meeting tonight, the laundry and cleaning last minute sprint will begin after that.  I have Thursday and Friday off, driving to New York to spend time with kith and kin.  Kith.  Kith.  What IS that?  Ah – familiar friends, neighbors or relatives.  Now I know. 

Wait, here’s another horoscope:

Although you may be quite willing to experience the shadowy side of love, it's because you know that sweet delights can be in store once you process darker feelings that are in the way. But today you might be stuck and unable to move beyond habitual patterns of negativity. Don't worry; the clouds will clear and you'll be feeling more upbeat before you even know what happened.

Hmmm, maybe THAT’S what I stop myself from doing “just in time”.  Indulging in the “darker feelings” that are on the way.

Queue the creepy music.

1 Comment:

lace1070 said...

I think those serial killer books you are reading are a bit of a damper on the real meaning of Christmas! Loved your shout out to the future Dwight! I hope that we can spend a couple of hours together in NY ~ I think my zipperhead can handle so belly laughter by now ~ love ya, Merry Christmas!

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