Kingdom of the Winds; Review

I’m really struggling to write this review. I think it’s primarily because I didn’t like this series and I really wanted to – clearly I'm a poor person to write objective reviews. Whatever. It was a shame that I thought it sucked; no, it's a shame the show sucked. Anyway, a review was promised, so a review is what you’re getting.

Ponder Angst – I have to say that the ponder angst in this series didn’t bug the doo out of me. But there was a lot of annoying crap; like all the shots of horses riding in to war, horses riding away from war, horses thinking about riding into war, and horses thinking about what it would be like to get burned at the stake. 5 points

Love “ – “ Angles – It’s a quad. Muhyul loves Yeon, Yeon loves Muhyul, Dojin loves Yeon, Lee Ji loves Muhyul. Maro’s love and devotion to his King and his friend was particularly moving. Though his end was manipulative, I liked the character enough to dole out extra points here. 16 for the angles, 5 more for Maro.

Sizzle – Song Il Guk had some moments where I was honestly moved by his performance as I was with Yuri and Haemyeong. I can say something really funny about Maro sizzling (HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!) and give it more points, but I’m not. Gets 5.

Physical Intimacy – Technically, we get a kiss between Yeon and Muhyul and they make baby Hodong - 10 points! Goeyu and Seryu are absolutely adorable and we get some nice scenes there - another 10 points! But then we deduct 15 for Maro and Yeonhwa. 5 points

Tragic Heartwrenching Disease and/or Character Death from Same – I got really tired early on with Muhyul’s death defying illnesses, and Yeon’s white cloth of life that saves him from arrows to the heart, poison in the arm, hanging upside down blappity blah blah. No constipation though, so too bad. 5 points

Going to the Beach – Even though its on a frozen body of water and its gonna take a long time for her to drop, there is a suicide at the beach. And oh hell, Dojin, in the depths of his despair (YAWN) throws himself from the Cliffs of Insanity. Since we get not one floater but 2, count ‘em 2, it gets a 40.

I’m not going to measure the “Tazza” factor yet since I started KotW before I started Tazza.

In total, Kingdom of the Winds gets a 81 on the E scale which is way way higher than it deserves and is solely due (40 points worth) to my curious fascination with beach front suicide. There have been series that I liked more that didn’t even make the scale so KotW lucked out. Had it not been a Song Il Guk vehicle, it certainly would not have made the review, crap – I wouldn’t even have finished watching the frickin’ thing. When an actor’s feet and another actress’ eyebrows are the only things that amuse, the show stinks.

Yeah, and I was delighted when Yeon bit it. “I have a favor your majesty…” (oh for f*ck’s sake). Not ~ “Can I see my son?” or “Will you tell me you love me? “ or “Will you bang me for old time’s sake?” No. It’s, “Can you call me by my name please?” WTF. Uh, yeah – let me use the last of my life’s energy by telling you that was super cool. And I’m sorry I sucked so bad, by the way. Song Il Guk was beautiful during all that crap, if you care. He was beautiful while he told her that she was so awesome with her white cloth of life and how thoughts of her were just bitchin’ when he was having a bad day.

“Heaven has been cruel,” says Yeon ~ (not a sentiment I want to be spouting just before I’m thrust before the gods, FYI), “…but at least I get to see you again…ow, ow, ow, ow”. What? Did she die? I couldn’t tell. She emoted the same way throughout the whole series.

So yeah, happy thoughts, happy thoughts. I liked Maro, I liked Queen LiJi’s eyebrows, I loved Goeyu and Seryu, (aside from the highly amusing and underwhelming, “I must let the whole world know my heart…and date you with pride.” from the pregnant Seryu), I liked Kim Jae Wook (my cutie from Coffee Prince), Yuri, Muhyul and Haemyeoung – terrific performances, and I liked the music. Mostly, mostly, I liked Song Il Guk and I liked naked Song Il Guk feet. Will always have something of a soft spot for him. It’s what kept me coming back.