Monday, February 2, 2009

Kingdom of the Winds; Review

Kingdom_of_the_Winds I’m really struggling to write this review. I think it’s primarily because I didn’t like this series and I really wanted to – clearly I'm a poor person to write objective reviews. Whatever. It was a shame that I thought it sucked; no, it's a shame the show sucked. Anyway, a review was promised, so a review is what you’re getting.

Ponder Angst – I have to say that the ponder angst in this series didn’t bug the doo out of me. But there was a lot of annoying crap; like all the shots of horses riding in to war, horses riding away from war, horses thinking about riding into war, and horses thinking about what it would be like to get burned at the stake. 5 points

Love “ – “ Angles – It’s a quad. Muhyul loves Yeon, Yeon loves Muhyul, Dojin loves Yeon, Lee Ji loves Muhyul. Maro’s love and devotion to his King and his friend was particularly moving. Though his end was manipulative, I liked the character enough to dole out extra points here. 16 for the angles, 5 more for Maro.

Sizzle – Song Il Guk had some moments where I was honestly moved by his performance as I was with Yuri and Haemyeong. I can say something really funny about Maro sizzling (HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!) and give it more points, but I’m not. Gets 5.

Physical Intimacy – Technically, we get a kiss between Yeon and Muhyul and they make baby Hodong - 10 points! Goeyu and Seryu are absolutely adorable and we get some nice scenes there - another 10 points! But then we deduct 15 for Maro and Yeonhwa. 5 points

Tragic Heartwrenching Disease and/or Character Death from Same – I got really tired early on with Muhyul’s death defying illnesses, and Yeon’s white cloth of life that saves him from arrows to the heart, poison in the arm, hanging upside down blappity blah blah. No constipation though, so too bad. 5 points

Going to the Beach – Even though its on a frozen body of water and its gonna take a long time for her to drop, there is a suicide at the beach. And oh hell, Dojin, in the depths of his despair (YAWN) throws himself from the Cliffs of Insanity. Since we get not one floater but 2, count ‘em 2, it gets a 40.

I’m not going to measure the “Tazza” factor yet since I started KotW before I started Tazza.

In total, Kingdom of the Winds gets a 81 on the E scale which is way way higher than it deserves and is solely due (40 points worth) to my curious fascination with beach front suicide. There have been series that I liked more that didn’t even make the scale so KotW lucked out. Had it not been a Song Il Guk vehicle, it certainly would not have made the review, crap – I wouldn’t even have finished watching the frickin’ thing. When an actor’s feet and another actress’ eyebrows are the only things that amuse, the show stinks.

Yeah, and I was delighted when Yeon bit it. “I have a favor your majesty…” (oh for f*ck’s sake). Not ~ “Can I see my son?” or “Will you tell me you love me? “ or “Will you bang me for old time’s sake?” No. It’s, “Can you call me by my name please?” WTF. Uh, yeah – let me use the last of my life’s energy by telling you that was super cool. And I’m sorry I sucked so bad, by the way. Song Il Guk was beautiful during all that crap, if you care. He was beautiful while he told her that she was so awesome with her white cloth of life and how thoughts of her were just bitchin’ when he was having a bad day.

“Heaven has been cruel,” says Yeon ~ (not a sentiment I want to be spouting just before I’m thrust before the gods, FYI), “…but at least I get to see you again…ow, ow, ow, ow”. What? Did she die? I couldn’t tell. She emoted the same way throughout the whole series.

So yeah, happy thoughts, happy thoughts. I liked Maro, I liked Queen LiJi’s eyebrows, I loved Goeyu and Seryu, (aside from the highly amusing and underwhelming, “I must let the whole world know my heart…and date you with pride.” from the pregnant Seryu), I liked Kim Jae Wook (my cutie from Coffee Prince), Yuri, Muhyul and Haemyeoung – terrific performances, and I liked the music. Mostly, mostly, I liked Song Il Guk and I liked naked Song Il Guk feet. Will always have something of a soft spot for him. It’s what kept me coming back.


A said...

I really love these reviews -- even if you didn't like the series, your review can make some become curious enough to check out the drama. LOL.

"...and I liked naked Song Il Guk..." made me hold my breath- for a short while.

Anonymous said...

I'm a little bothered that Song Il Gook plays Muhyul AND his grandfather Jumong. There are scenes where Yuri tells Muhyul about Jumong, and SIG has this "Yeah I effin know that already" look. But oh well, I'll take it for what it is.

I don't know if you watched this with English subs, but the vids posted on have some crazy translation! They used some obnoxiously difficult vocabulary which is shit because I need the subs to translate big Korean words. I can fill in the context to figure out what is going on, but wtf? One of my fave big words I picked up is "supercilious opprobrium". Another awesome one is when the Queen called Yeonha a whore for seducing Yeojin but the sub translated that to "yeastly slattern".

E said...

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! You are absolutely right! Supercilious opprobrium was fantastic, but the "yeastly slattern"...I need to use that next time I write something...

Anonymous said...

Thanks For Sharing!


Anonymous said...

Thank you for such an entertaining review. The translation was indeed an entertainment by itself.

The over-use (abuse) of heavenly and romantic music is utterly sickening. Every move and scene was overly dramatized. After a while, the show becomes too tiring. It tried to put too much of everything in high doses. Imagine: Dae Jang Geum (Yeon), Jumong, and other period drama tidbits jumbled up with superfragilisticexpialidocious subtitle.

Nevertheless, Song Il-Guk delivered a solid performance.

Anonymous said...


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