Suzzannah

I ranted. I railed. I simmered. I hated. No, sorry, to clarify; I REEEEEALLLLLY didn't like. There was perverseness because my mood amused me. I was in a foul mood and I wasn't going to do a thing to pull myself out of it. Colleagues from the Layoff Job will recall the "Mood Elevator" and our attempts to move up to the next floor. I was on the surly bitch floor and got off. I had no plans to get back on and push the up button.

I promised you though that I would go do 30 minutes in the gym. I was true to my word. I found that telling myself I'm only committed to 30 minutes gets me in the gym. 30 minutes is as long as an episode of "Frasier", and slightly less lengthy as an episode of "Coffee Prince". I can get my butt off the couch for 30 minutes and walk.

I timed my exercise to coincide with Sam Waterston's appearance on "Law & Order". I went in knowing that I'd watch Sam until the end, which meant an extra five minutes. Good for me!!

28.46 minutes into my treadmillinery an older woman came in and smiled and climbed onto the stationary bicycle. "Hi! You're pretty regular coming in here every day! How much have you lost?"

Weeeeellllll, crap. Several things recommended themselves to my mind; #1) Technically, I have a minute and fifteen seconds to go, and she obviously wants to talk; and then right behind that and more urgently; #2) how does she know how often I come in here? Does she live in my building? Chick send her in? WTF??

I smiled at her. "Not enough!" I answered jovially. To indicate I had no leanings of a social nature, I kept trying to watch sweet sweet Sam Waterston. My new friend laughed. "Well, I've lost 82 pounds!" I don't care who you are, that catches your attention, one is forced to respond.

"Wow! Good for you!", I replied. I'm almost done. I looked at my timer. 37 seconds to go. Would she be offended if I got off the machine and left? I could do it tactfully. She continued.

"No, well, I didn't lose it a good way like you. I got cancer and I don't want you to lose it like that." Suzzannah went on to tell me she had first been diagnosed with colon cancer. It had spread to her stomach, thyroid, pancreas and most recently it was in her liver. She's starting chemo again next week. Her doctor tells her to go in and get some exercise, but she's just too tired tonight. Still she came in.

We talked for a while. In fact, I did 52 minutes on the treadmill tonight while getting to know Suzannah. 69 years old from France, married twice, and almost a third time, 4 children: all amazingly accomplished, whose grandmother worked for Coco Chanel. Suzzannah used to live near Stevie Nicks in Arizona. She has had compatriots in illness who took their own lives because of their cancer. She empathized but said "This is not a dress rehearsal, it's the only life you get". She was too tired to keep going on the stationary bike, and yet she encouraged me to keep coming back, keep smiling, and keep walking.

And I had the temerity to whine yesterday for no reason. I'm ashamed.