Expert Situation Diffusement

Most, if not all, of you know that of my three children Adam had been my greatest challenge. Always agile minded to my stumbling ineptitude even when he was very small. (Of course, considering the direction this brilliant young man is headed, I'd like to think that it was two like minds clashing).

No matter what the occasion, Adam would take an opportunity to position himself on the side in opposition to mine. I'm reminded of when Adam was 7 years old, I asked him and his brother to clean off the dinner table. Adam suggested I get off my lazy butt and do it myself. This was said in such an engaging way that I found it hard to punish him, but not to worry, I overcame my weakness and smacked him good. As it was, I think I helped clean off the table in the end.

One Friday evening, probaby 2 years after Rob and I divorced, I had taken Adam and Meg out to dinner during Lent. Always in search of a good steak, I reminded Adam that he was not allowed to eat meat on the Fridays during the season. Disappointed that he wouldn't be able to order what he wanted, Adam decided to lay vent to his spleen, attacking me, the church, Pope John Paul II, Father Swain, the priesthood, the XFiles, my commute to work, small town life, the price of celery, small baby ducks and puppies. The conversation disintegrated.

There have only been two people in my life that have been able to press my buttons to great success - one would be Rob (while were dating and married anyway) and the other Adam. This day, Adam expertly pressed every button I had, fashioned a few out of scallops located at the buffet, pressed those and sat back to reap the pleasure of my sputtering pathetic retorts.

Worked up into a frothy bubbling stew, I stared the little smirking b*stard down. In my ire, it hadn't occurred to me that he just wanted to p*ss me off because he couldn't order a steak. "Well? You think you know so much? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THAT MISTER?"

Warmth and affection were alight in Adam's eyes. I had apparently missed this in my fury. In his finest Scottish accent Adam quoted Mel Gibson in Braveheart saying; "I love you. Always have."

I was immediately reduced to slop.