Friday, September 7, 2012

DC/Baltimore Artist of the Month

Everyone - go vote for my daughter Meghann and the band she is in - M.H. and his Orchestra as best band in D.C. PLEASE!! :

http://washington.thedelimagazine.com/snacks

Posted by Unknown at 8:11 PM 0 comments  

Monday, May 7, 2012

Queen SeonDeok

  • Title: 선덕여왕 (善德女王) / Seondeok Yeo Wang
  • Also known as: Queen Seon Duk
  • Tagline: The one who secures the people will acquire the world and rule the ages
  • Genre: Historical Drama
  • Episodes: 62
  • Broadcast network: MBC
  • Broadcast period: 2009-May-25 to 2009-Dec-22
  • Air time: Monday & Tuesday 21:55

Synopsis

Deokman was born a twin but was abandoned as a baby and sent to a place far away by her father, King Jinpyeong in order to protect her from being killed by an influenced royal court lady, Mishil who tries to snatch away the throne from the royal successor. Deokman was later brought back to the Silla palace, where she joined forces with her twin sister Princess Cheonmyong to oppose Mishil. However, Mishil devised sinister plans to have the two Silla princesses exiled from the kingdom, and in a secretive battle, Princess Cheonmyong was accidentally killed. But Princess Deokman shrewdly enlisted the help of General Kim Yusin and eliminated her archenemy Mishil. She then became Queen Seon Deok, the first female ruler of the Silla kingdom. This drama is about a story of a beautiful queen, who has to give up her love to save the people and thus, leaving behind many brilliant achievements.
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Yeah, so that's the synopsis DramaWiki would like you to have.  You can have it.

Ponder Angst – So much ponder I almost stopped watching the series.  If I wasn't trying to talk my friend into watching Damo, I wouldn't have finished it.  0 points
Love “ – “ Angles – YuShin Loves DeokMan, DeokMan loves YuShin, Bidam loves DeokMan, DeokMan eventually loves BiDam, SeolWon loves Mishil, Mishil loves Mishil.  30 points.
Sizzle – Oh, there was sizzle!  YuShin's "I'll always be by your side" sizzle, and when we find out he always knew DeokMan was a girl?  Whhoooooof.  And then Bidam's amazing charisma that screamed off the screen and right into my face.  Another 30 points, mostly because I loved looking at these two.
Physical Intimacy – Hugs and some intimacy. 20 points.
Tragic Heartwrenching Disease and/or Character Death from Same – The white cloth of life/death was out in abundance in this series.  Nearly everyone who dies - dies from the scourge of Shilla - the dreaded bloodinthemouth.  You know when you see the white cloth come out and someone coughs?  It always comes up bloody - so you know they are about to die.  When the white cloth comes out to cool a fevered forehead?  They live.  Because...no bloodinthemouth.  But we get bloodinthemouth even when there is no white cloth of Life or Death.  Stabbed in the belly?  Bloodinthemouth.  Stabbed in the shoulder?  Bloodinthemouth.  Arrow in the back?  Bloodinthemouth.  Even Chil Sook dies only -  ONLY when he bleeds from his mouth.  Bloodinthemouth kills more people than constipation; and toward the end, it was literally gushing out of our character's mouths.  10 points just because of that white cloth of death and all the bloodinthemouth.
Tazza Factor – Ahhhhhm, the tazza.  Sorry QSD, you blew it.  You started slow, then Bidam showed up and you almost had me, and then, well, and then the show got dull. 0 points.
Going to the Beach –  There was some suicide, but nothing at the beach.  0 Bonus points.

90 points on the e-mometer, which is way higher than the series deserves in my book.  Well, OK - I'll say that the tragic ending was a tear-jerker and I was most certainly moved.  Moved still to see YuShin still by the Queen's side at the end, just as he promised in the beginning.  

So OK.  I'll let the 90 stand. 

Posted by Unknown at 10:46 AM 0 comments  

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More Queen SeonDeok

Almost a Big Fat Fail.

I had moments where I thought Queen Seon Duk was going to be another Jumong.  The Mishil Smirk. Hot Hot Yu Shin.  Bi "I'm the Duck" Dam.  Twin #1.  Woot Tae, I mean, Munno.  Some really great cliffhangers, clever maneuvers and out maneuvers.  Kites.  You just can't go wrong with kites.

You know what killed it for me?  The length.  The freaking d  r  a  w  n  o  u  t  baaaaaaatttttttllllllleeeeeesssss hiiiiiiiiidddddddddinnnnnnnnnnggggg, ccccrrrrryyyyyyiiiiiinnnnngggggg, taaaaaaallllllllkkkkkkkkiiiiiinnnnnnng    mmmmmmarrrrrrcccccchhhhhhiiiiinnnnnnggg ssssssssiiiiiiiittttttttiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggggg aaaaaaattttttt taaaaaaaabbbbbbbllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss.  Oh my goodness, and it just doesn't end.  Taking for freaking ever to do anything.

And it wasn't about the length of the series.  "Jumong: Legend of the Three Han" was 81 episodes.  I was sad when that series ended because I loved every single one of the characters - I even became fond of the bad ones.  Daeso?  Come on - loved that drunken sunuvabitch.  "Jewel in the Palace" - at 50+ episodes, I think I've watched that 5 or 6 times.

But somehow I just didn't fully connect with the characters.  I thought I was going to and I really tried. In the end, it was like basketball.  I don't like watching the game because all I can focus on are the squeaky sneakers on the gym floor.  I'm not even watching the game, all I can focus on are the stupid squeaks.  I stopped caring about the characters and started counting the pans across a room when someone would say something shocking - Mishil, BoJong, SeJong, Mi Saeng, Seol won, Ha Jong, Smirking Mishil, BoJong, SeJong, Mi Saeng, Seol Won and won and won and won.

YuShin sacrificed his love for a woman for the love of his people, Woot Tae, I mean Munno intrigued me, Seol won - I loved the way he loved Mishil.  The can't kill him Chil Sook and his tender love for Seowha, and then Korea's Johnny Depp steps in.

As I said before - Bi-dayum.  Kim Nam Gil injected something into the whole series for me; not just - is he good or bad - is he Mishil or WooTae - I mean Munno - but his characterization, the flexibility in his face; this wasn't just a one dimensional character.  Bidam was the best of Mishil's spawn, a diamond in the rough, waiting to be cut and given the facets that would make him shine from within and become the strongest and most beautiful rock in the foundation of Queen SeonDeok's impossible dream.  The dysfunction of a lifetime, his fear and his inability to really understand how to fully love and trust brought about his own end.  He was a fascinating character and I cheered for him even as he got as close as 10 steps to the Queen. 

Similar to Song Il Guk's Yeom Moon in "Emperor of the Sea", it was Bidam that forced me to come back to the series.  It was his multidimensional character that brought it all together and then mercilessly ended it, not DeokMan. 

I think I would have liked to see a little more of the strong and forward-thinking SeonDeok.  The woman who brought a Renaissance to her people.  Who built Buddhist temples and helped her people grow.  It was alluded to, but never realized.  It was plot plot plot, war war war, screw with Bidam, screw with SeonDeok, screw with YuShin.  And unfortunately, I got tired of that.

Posted by Unknown at 10:16 AM 0 comments  

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Queen SeonDeok


Mishil is bad.  The kind of bad you love to hate.  The kind of bad that you really want to see wander off into the ocean and lose her shoes.  She was ancient Shilla's version of white trash -  she had a kid by just about every guy in the series.  You couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one of Mishil's spawn.  A skank with class and a dream.

SeonDeok/DeokMan is good.  The kind of good you want to see live happily ever after.  The kind of good you want to see have babies and till the land with the man she loves.

YuShin is good.  The kind of good that makes you ache.  The kind of good that comes around once in a lifetime; that sacrifices himself completely for the ones he loves.  The kind of good that will help his apparent enemies if it means the betterment of the nation and the health of his queen.

Bidam is...Bidam is...Bidam is hot.  The kind of hot that makes you turn on the air conditioner.  The kind of hot that makes you wish he was looking at you with those devil may care eyes, with those fierce eyes, with those wounded eyes. The kind of hot and anguished and good and bad that every woman longs for really, so she can fix him, but finds out later that he's always going to be sort of a delicious mess. 

Everyone else, as far as I was concerned, revolved around those four characters.  Ass-kicking Woo Tae...I mean, Munno, the twitchy and catatonic Seowha, the can't kill him with fire or sand Chil Sook - (Korea's version of Jason in Friday the 13th), the fancy brother, the annoying husband, the hot and devoted sergeant at arms SeolWon, the Nancy King, the crying Queen, the dead twin sister, the tricksy nephew, the many toadies and on and and on and on. 

The first third of the series sets us up.  We get the Big Dipper Prophecy alluding to Mishil's downfall, the twins, the escape; relationships introduced, formed, and cemented.  Sisters lost and found and lost again.  Devotion established.  Motivations built.  This part of the series is "AllaboutDeokman and Mishil" and the people who love them both.

The second part of the series; episodes 20 - 40 or so, we are introduced to Korea's Johnny Depp - Bidam. I call this part of the series "Bi-dayum!".  Mommy was he beautiful.  Hot hot son of Mishil and King Jinji.  Disciple of WooTae, I mean Munno.  Physically abandoned at birth by his mother, emotionally abandoned in adolescence by his master WooTae, I mean Munno, later describing himself as "The Duck" - following the first person he lays his eyes on when he's born (or re-born as in this case).  That person is DeokMan.  We learn about Bidam's past, we learn about his present, and we hope for his future.  Gets pretty messed up by his Mom and her violet cohort, the Men in Purple - Her husband, her son, her brother and her lover.  Thus begins the third part....

Which should have been titled, "Men Who Carry Feather Fans Are Up To No Good".  A mess of mistrust, miscommunication, and mismanagement.  Bidam styles himself into a gay asian hairdresser, Queen SeonDeok decides she can't trust anyone, and YuShin....well, YuShin is still good, and devoted and lovely and strong and courageous and brave, workaholic though he is.  

I will grant you that the ending broke my heart.  I was moved a la "Emperor of the Sea".  I had longed for Bidam to be able to tell the Queen what was in his heart, but it was not to be.  And there were some sincerely marvelous performances, particularly by Kim Nam Gil.  Come for his hotness, stay for...his hotness.

In the end, it was all sort of a Romeo and Juliet thing with our two Big Dipper star-crossed lovers missing each other by inches; tragedy at its Korean best.  If you are into that kind of thing, you will love this series.  It just got too long and drawn out for me and I wanted to put it out of it's misery at around episode 50. 

Posted by Unknown at 10:06 AM 0 comments  

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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

My Princess

I've been watching "My Princess" this week and have found it completely charming - with one exception. Overall, kdrama is very enjoyable from my perspective and when I find a performance that can move me, it's even more memorable; primarily because I'm reading subtitles and I'm fighting an ingrained western upbringing that doesn't fully appreciate the thousands of years of Korean culture that is embedded in the writing, the cinematography, and the acting. Jang Hyuk, for example, never ceases to amaze me with the depth of his characterization and emotion - I don't think I can name an English actor that can surpass his gift.

When we get to bad performances, I try to be accommodating for the same reasons - I'm an ahjumma, I'm American born and bred - you don't get whiter than me. Occasionally, however, I find a performance that is so bad, it stands out. Readers may remember my review on Kingdom of the Winds and how I was in awe of Yeon's expressionlessness - I called her little Wooden Face.

In "My Princess" I've found another example. Oh Yoon Joo - the female antagonist - hateful and hated by everyone except Nam Jung Woo. I find nothing redeeming about the character - and could forgive that - sometimes the bad guys are have the most charisma and make the series that much better. Not here. I started to wonder if the actress had botoxed her face, since there was no expression, regardless of the situation. In fact, it's beginning to amuse me - I'm looking for something, anything, a wrinkle, an eye crinkle, an expression of wonder, or love, or anger, or pity, or indifference...and I get...well, I put together a little slide show of expressions for OYJ, and you can make up your own mind.

Just really, really bad. The actress that plays her - Park Ye Jin - is apparently in the next drama I'm slated to watch - Queen Seon Duk - I'll be interested to see how she does there.

Review should be up in a few days. :)

Posted by Unknown at 6:18 PM 0 comments  

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Monday, April 9, 2012

My Princess

“When someone gives you something you thought he could never give, that’s when a person’s heart thumps.” – Seol

Cast

Correlation Chart
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Well pinch me if this series wasn't the cutest darn thing I've seen in a long time. Predictable - sure. Kdrama must haves - absolutely. Happy ending - sweet mother, yes. None of that bothered me because I was charmed right through to my little toes with our main characters Park Hae Young and Lee Seol.

QuickPlot: Down on her luck adopted plucky gal, meets astonishingly wealthy, young diplomat fella. Gal turns out to be a gen-u-wine princess, fella is assigned to be her "I will teach you all things royally political" protector. A variety of personal and professional challenges later, he is fatally charmed by her cuteness, and she can't help but fall in love with his diplomatic hotness. 16 cutesydrama episodes later, happy happy happy joy joy joy!

When I said My Princess had kdrama must haves, I wasn't kidding. I actually started looking for them to make my warmth for this series turn in to downright affection. We had palace machinations, hospital scenes with a humidifier, drunk girl getting piggy back ride from rich man, evil girlfriend and an evil sister. We had a forgotten meeting between our two lovers when they are pre-pubescent and while there was no dramatic eye-cancer there was some heart disease. There was also a showing of two of my very favorite kdrama staples; poop jokes and the healing white cloth of life. (My all-time favorite is fatal constipation; you just don't see that often enough).

Kim Tae Hee was the absolute picture of plucky sparkle balanced nicely by Song Seung Hun who went from bewildered charm to captivated delight to head over heels in love. The other characters...meh. I think that Little Chef Gunnie was underutilized - so adorable - we didn't get much of him until the end. I liked Professor Glutton-for-punishment Nam, a guy that needs some serious therapy having deliberately entered back into a toxic relationship with B*tchy McBotoxFace. Come on Jung Woo - you are a smart good looking guy - you can totally do better.

My nits to pick? I have no idea what motivated Yoon Joo (B*tchy). Maybe I blacked out or something; but why so bitter? Why so absolutely hateful to everyone? B*tchy to the only people that had any affection for her – to Jung Woo, to her father, to Hae Young – and then after burning all her bridges, whined “How could you do that to me?” ------- Really Yoon Joo? Really? Was I supposed to care for the character in the end when she lost all of her prestige? I didn’t understand her at all and she was an expressionless annoyance from beginning to end. And she looked like she was 40.

I also thought the last two episodes could have been mushed into one. I didn’t need the agony of a two month absence and then the next episode’s agony of a two year absence. It all started to feel contrived and campy – ridiculous in a fluff piece, right? But I hadn’t felt that throughout the series until the end, having enjoyed the character and relationship development.

Ponder Angst – Not too much of the ponder here. We got some, but it was all going back and fetching some repressed memory stuff that was important to the plot. There was ponder toward the end that started to annoy and I had to ffw. 10 points

Love “ – “ Angles – Jung Woo is in love with Toxic, LS initially crushes on JW, PHY is initially in love with Toxic, but eventually falls for LS who in turn falls for HY. I'm giving out a half a point for adorable little Gunnie's crush all over LS, like a fluffy little brown-eyed puppy. 20.5 points.

Sizzle – Ah, the sizzle. Our main characters definitely had the chemistry set out. It all seemed sweet and genuine, with some really stellar sizzle moments from Song Seung Hun. 15 points.

Physical Intimacy – A good amount of nice kisses, wrist grabbing, and hugging. 15 points.

Tragic Heartwrenching Disease and/or Character Death from Same – Like I said, we have some heart disease, which in its’ strictest sense of the metric would be considered heart wrenching, but it's not stomach cancer, so I can really only give it 10 points.

Tazza Factor – Ahhhhhm, the tazza. Did the series grab my interest like a jealous oppa taking hold of my arm? Did it keep it there, panting for more like a dysfunctional Professor hugging his soulless ex-girlfriend? Doesn’t hit the level of Tazza, War of the Flower, for which this metric is named. This was a nice sweet series that I will recommend to ahjummas everywhere, telling them their nice teenage daughters can watch. I'll give it 10 points.

Going to the Beach – Nothing in the bonus round. We have flashbacks of little Lee Seol on the beach with her Dad - clearly homeless, and he makes it fun, but no suicide. 0 Bonus points.

80.5. Overall, I enjoyed this series and I will absolutely watch it again for some mindless entertainment. Not thought provoking at all, but charming and diverting; and sometimes that’s just what you need. - e

Posted by Unknown at 12:03 PM 0 comments  

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Saturday, March 31, 2012

Secret Garden

Cast


Secret Garden

QuickPlot: Claustrophobic Rich spoiled Captain of Industry (Kim Joo Woon) meets Orphaned poor hard working Stunt girl (Gil Ra Im). He is entranced, she is angered, he is entranced, she is annoyed, he is entranced, she is intrigued, he is disgusted, she is hurt, they drink magic flower wine, switch bodies; hilarity and drama ensues.

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I read about this drama back in 2010 when Jang Hyuk was slated as the Rich Claustrophobic Captain of Industry. There were some issues with his management company and aigooo - Hyun Bin was cast as the Rich Claustrophobic Captain of Industry. I haven’t seen enough of Hyun Bin’s work – in fact, the only other drama I saw him in was “My Name is Kim Sam Soon”, where he played Leg Wounded Rich Spoiled Captain of Industry. So sadly, it felt like I was watching the same character.

Ha Ji Won –I’ve seen her in Damo and Hwang Jini. Different characters, both fierce and striking. She impressed me with her grace and intensity. Her character Gil Rae Im started out all fierce and butchy, then turned plucky, then got all weepy and apologetic toward the end. I was a bit disappointed.

In the beginning of the series, I found much that was endearing; puzzled over her lack of social standing, money and breeding, KJW can’t stop thinking about GRI. When he walks, he imagines she’s there with him, when he’s at the opera, she’s there with him, wherever he goes, there she is, moving at his pace, just there. Gil Ra Im eventually gives in to her feelings and is willing to accept whatever spoiled Kim Joo Woon is able to give, just as he realizes that what he wants to give her is everything. It’s really very sweet.

K-drama staples – this series has ‘em. Modern-day palace machinations at the shopping center, evil mothers, scheming sisters-in-law,the white cloth of life made an appearance, oh and the sacrificial if-one-of-us-has-to-die-let-it-be-me episode. The chemistry between HB and HJW definitely kept me coming back – there were lots and lots of achy moments that made my belly flop.

Oh and Lee Phillip as Director Im Jong Soo? Wow. I had more empathy for his character quietly loving GRI. Sigh. Nice.

The odd stuff? The whole Oska hallyu singing sensation and the ruinous relationship that left him a bitter bitter player plot didn’t do it for me; and I never quite got the gay ingénue that developed feelings for him – that felt contrived. However, I did feel bad for gay ingénue leaving and having no one in the end. And was I supposed to believe that Son Ye Jin was into Im Jong Soo at the end or was she just hiring him to be a director? Didn’t get it. KJW’s mother was a monster – just a plain, evil, hateful, bitter dreadful excuse for a human being.

Hyun Bin behaving as a woman? Hilarious and adorable. Ha Ji Won acting as a man? Well, she was pretty butchy as it was – all Coffee-Princey, so not such a stretch. On reflection, the body switching thing, I think it was simply a mechanism for the sacrificial if-one-of-us-has-to-die-let-it-be-me episode and that was too bad. It could have been more. We could have seen KJW learn to have appreciation for how and why GRI lives as she does, GRI could have learned bits about KJWs crippling and heart-attack provoking claustrophobia…but maybe that was too obvious. Better we all just get awkward at work and learn that Joo Woon’s security password is 36 24 36 and that Ra Im’s roommate leaves the bathroom door open asking if it smells bad. You can’t miss with a good poop joke.

Ponder Angst – Not a lot of ponder angst. This was not a ponder-fest. There are some moments that reflected on the past, but that was all Oska’s and his woman’s and it was blessedly brief, because I didn’t care. 20 points

Love “ – “ Angles – KJW loves GRI, Oska loves whatshername, hot hot Director Im Jong Soo loved GRI, one of the other students at the Action school loved GRI, and Joo Won’s mother loved no one but herself. 16 points.

Sizzle – Ah, the sizzle. As I said, there were some sizzly moments between KJW and GRI, some aching looks from Im Jong Soo and that kept me coming back. 10 points.

Physical Intimacy – Lots of stiff kisses, wrist grabbing, hugging and a couple awkward cappuccino lip locks. The payoff kiss at the Christmas party went on too long and seemed a little, I don’t know, slick somehow. I wanted to give them a hanky to wipe off their faces. 10 points.

Tragic Heartwrenching Disease and/or Character Death from Same – There was no death from disease. GRI’s dad dies in a heroic flashy elevator car of death, and Joo Woon has a claustrophobia induced fainting spell. GRI is brain dead for a little while, but that all gets fixed. I’ll give it 10 points for Dad’s fiery fireman death.

Going to the Beach – Nothing in the bonus round. Too bad mom didn’t do us all a favor and smother herself in all that organza she wore. Hag.

So, 71 on the e-meter. It wasn’t a bad series, but I won’t be watching it again. The last 5 episodes or so felt rushed and not really in concert with the whole. The editing seemed sloppy and some of the story lines were dropped without any explanation. The effort to pull it all together in the last quarter of the series with Ah Young’s predictive dreams was lame.

When the squealing charm of Hyun Bin acting like a girl wore off, I wondered how the series would have been different had Joo Woon been played by Jang Hyuk.

And I could have done without the leopard print robe.

Posted by Unknown at 8:40 PM 0 comments  

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Thursday, December 2, 2010

Aaaanhkkk

Oh my teeth.

Had some tooth drama back in October. Jaw bone infection, abscess, dentist-endodontists-periodontologists, antibiotics, appointments, oral surgeons, exhaustive dental benefit review, a little pleading, a lot of frustrated disappointment and anxiety on my part.

In the end, I have to have a lot of work done. A lot. Like the cost of a really nice used car in my mouth. Insurance companies and employers - are not big fans of modern dentistry FYI. Implants are excluded as a paid benefit. Dentures, bridges, Arkansas-mountain-man-teeth-gaps in the front of one's face hole - all paid for. But modern medicine designed to save more natural teeth in the long run; not so much.

I need to have 2 implants, all 4 wisdom teeth removed, a few cavities filled, and my old root canal checked. Along with a few other odds and ends.

For 2010, since my annual maximum benefit is $1500, I decided I could afford to have my wisdom teeth pulled. I've dodged this bullet since I was 17. You know, let this be a lesson to fellow procrastinators: I should have done at 17, when my Dad would have been financially responsible. Or I should have gotten them pulled 15 years ago when I had a spouse contributing to the dental benefit and household expenses. Glad it wasn't done by that freak in 2007, that's for sure. (I just re-read that blog. That hurt!) No. I had to wait until now, more fool I.

The pullin' was scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving. Universally bemoaned, "Awwwww, you'll miss Thanksgiving!" I thought it was brilliant. Four days off from work to heal without taking any sick time - excellent! I was told absolutely no food or liquid 6 hours prior to the surgery. So 7.5 hours before, I took my regular meds, and had a cup of coffee - didn't want to add a caffeine headache on top of tooth pain, now did I? Sooo, clever. I made some bean soup, bought potatoes for mashing. How bad could it be?

Bad. Well, now, not bad as these things go I guess. Could have been worse. My sinus wall could have opened up. I could have been a bleeder. I could have died under the anesthesia (and I needed to go to confession - THAT was stupid!). So, not that bad. Mr. Mississippi Dental Assistant assured me I'd be plenty numb for 6 hours after the surgery. WRONG SIR! My first conscious sensation was pain in the lower right quadrant....uuuhhnnnn then barely a breath later, pain all over my mouth. UUUHHNNNN, it huuuts...dat ogahy?

To be fair, the 2007 Root Canal Debacle left me with more blood and pulp and spit and gore on my face (see above link) than the Mouth Rape of 2010. Hurt plenty, don't get me wrong. Lovely cousins drove me to and from, got me home, settled me in on my couch, while daughter made me instant mashed potatoes and tea. I had to get food on my stomach before I could take the hydrocodone. BTW? Hydrocodone is overrated. 600 mg of ibuprofen did more for me than the narcotics as far as the pain was concerned. Hydrocodone made me crabby and constipated. I'll be looking into pain killing alternatives for the Great Mouth/Wallet Rape 2011.

Still healing. I am rinsing and spitting three times a day, I am now using a syringe to clean food out of the gummy holes twice daily, I brush frequently and in good lock-the-barn-door-now-that-the-cows-are-on-Aunt-Dorothy's-lawn fashion, I floss. All the time. Floss floss floss floss floss!

I'm trying to make friends with this new mouth by sending my tongue out to familiarize itself with all those holes. Holes don't like that. Holes swell up when I do that. Holes say, "No. Leave us alone. We are not ready for company yet. We will call you."

I hope they call soon.

Posted by Unknown at 3:34 PM 0 comments  

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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Bit of a Thrill

Interesting day yesterday.  I got out of work early to go to a doctor appointment.  I love my doctor.  He’s a good doctor, kind and patient, listens to me, answers all my questions.  I have a lot of questions.  Their office is something of an anomaly in the medical world I think – I’ve never had to wait more than five minutes before being whisked in for my appointment.  Delightful really.

As an aside, I do not expect this to continue once ObamaCare achieves full throttle.  I enjoy the best medical care in the world right now, however, and do not anticipate with any delight the socialist medicine state we will soon enter.  B@stards.

The visit was made even better after having been given three months of pharmaceutical samples.  I love pharmaceutical samples too.

That done, I was home by 3:00 pm.  Gunner Beagle has been confined to his crate again during the day – he was doing so well, not chewing anything up, not ripping up tissues, or getting into the trash in the kitchen.  But when I came home from work Monday the little fiend had not only chewed up a sneaker (tinnis shoe for my friend Lacie), but he ripped open and gnawed on my favorite k-drama dvd set of all time, “Thank You” with Jang Hyuk.  B@STARD! 

So as I said, he’s confined to his crate when I’m not home.  He wanted so badly to come out – tail smacking up against the metal, so happy to see me.  I pay Gunner no mind, I changed and went to the gym. 

After that, I started “The Shack” (darn slow start btw, I’m hoping it picks up soon.  Blaaaaahhhhhh.)  Blah blah blah dinner, blah blah blah Legion of Mary, blah blah blah Sun and naked torsoed Jin on LOST. 

As I left to go home, I happened upon two youths stealing beer from my cousin’s outdoor refrigerator.  B@stards!!  They took off, we gave chase (in a car, I’m too damn old to run in the dark, I’d break an ankle), and we caught up to them driving around the compound in their Daddy’s Infinity.  Blah blah blah color blah blah plates blah blah blah make and model.  We called the police (the officers that responded couldn’t have been more unalike; one was 6’10” and the other was 5’1”) and filed a report. 

A bit of a change up in the routine.  Bit of a thrill.

Posted by Unknown at 8:58 AM 3 comments  

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

I’m Sad

During a bit of silliness Tuesday night, Guest Blogger Who Hasn’t Guest Blogged In 4 Years and I found Jai on line.  Jai, was cute and flirtatious and I wrote a blog on him back in 2007.  Best. Kisser. Ever.

I connected to him through a social networking site today and he responded pretty quickly. 

He emailed me back and told me his brother, who we all called Zero, died last December.  He had colon cancer.  I think he was just 50 or so.  Bruce shared a birthday with my sister.  It got me thinking of one of my happier memories. 

Bruce was tall, had black hair, freckles, big nose, drove a nice car - it was black and shiny, I have no idea what it was.  I can see him; it's summer, it's hot out, the sun blazing.  Zero had a perpetual sun burn.  My cousin, my sister and I were by the milking parlor.  We had tormented the guys (Zero, Jai, Trace) once they finished milking one morning - I think we ambushed them with shaving cream as they walked out of the milking parlor.

During the skirmish that ensued, Zero grabbed my cousin and held her head over a mud puddle trying to get her to concede defeat. 
"Say I win! Say I win!" 

Much laughter from the onlookers, as my cousin triumphantly squealed out, "I win!"

Aggressively dipping her closer to the mud puddle, Zero cried,  "GAAAAAAA!  NO!! SAY ZERO WINS!"  She finally squealed it out to his satisfaction.  She was safe from the mud bath.

Memories have the power to seal people in time, don't they?  That's where Zero will forever be in my mind.  And I will smile.  And tonight, I will say some prayers for him.

Posted by Unknown at 12:58 PM 1 comments  

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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Stupid Snow

It’s been quite a winter.

Using vacation and staying home is no picnic.  I’m not dumb enough to go out in this.  It has it’s pleasures though – I get to spend some pretty silly time with my daughter watching movies, listening to music, and making soup.  Downside is unwatchable daytime television. 

There was a Reba marathon.

Today’s storm is the third in 2 weeks.  The first, Groundhog Day Night, after watching “Lost” with family was light and happy:

Like magical Christmas snow!  Four inches of fluffy joy!  How fun!!  Fat flakes, furry trees, I ran around snapping pictures left and right from my cell.

Friday, February 6, 2010 into February 7, 2010 – Deathsnow 2010 or SNOWPOCALYPSE as it is referred to was another animal.  32” of cold white death:

And today.  Officially termed a blizzard with wind gusts up to 44 mph.  This isn’t Northern Virginia.  It’s New Buffalo, Virginia. 

Posted by Unknown at 11:03 AM 2 comments  

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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Imagination too Active?

One wants to believe that their neighborhood is safe. There are occurrences of theft and depravity in every neighborhood – it’s part of the human condition – and I accept those as a matter of course. My run-ins with Chick have been a slightly entertaining yet very creepy little side-car to condo life, but they do not (yet) make me want to move.

I was further creeped out last year when my daughter spied a peeping Tom outside her bedroom window. We bought heavy curtains the very next day and started locking the door even when we were home.

An event last year added to my concern when my complex hosted a real CSI van in our parking lot. One of the residents “allegedly” strangled his girlfriend, wrapped her in saran wrap, stuffed her body under bed while he continued to utilize her email account to make her friends believe she was still alive. This event, gave me pause and made me look at my neighbors a little differently.

Speed up to present day. No Chick sightings, no more peeping Toms (Gunner thinks he is a much bigger dog than he is and has quite the bark), no more murders. The trash compactor is broken, and it’s been so cold no one seems to want to pick up their dog poop, but otherwise it’s been quiet.

Maybe too quiet.

January 3, 2010 – I’m walking Gunner at roughly 6:30 am. On our route, I pass the apartment I lived in when I first moved to the complex. I generally pay no attention; I pay less attention when the temps are in the teens and the wind chill is in the single digits. I just want Gunner to do his business so I can crawl back into bed.

As I walked by that morning, I paid no mind to the humming noise I heard, until, like a refrigerator – you only notice the noise after it shuts off – the humming stopped. I knew what that sound was. It was the air conditioner. What in the Snow Miser’s name was someone doing with the air conditioner on when the temps were in the teens? I looked up and noticed that the living room light was on, so someone must be home and awake. I thought it odd. I continued on my walk, since Gunner will not be denied.

January 4, 2010 – Same thing. The light was on air conditioner was running. What is with these people? Save on the electric bill and open a window until you cool off. Freaks.

January 5, 2010 – Air conditioner running, the light was off.

I’ve wondered and wondered what could be going on -

  1. The home owners are on vacation and having left when the temperatures were warmer, inadvertently left the air conditioner on. The light bulb is timed to go on and off at certain times.
  2. The residents are from a cooler clime and are struggling to keep cool with all that heat rising up from the floor below.
  3. There has been another murder and the temperature kept at a chilly level will slow the body decay, making it more difficult to assess time of death, the perp having long since fled to Pachuca, Mexico.
  4. There has been another murder and the sick deviant is keeping the body from decay so he may enjoy some intimacies previously avoided since the b*tch wouldn’t keep her big trap shut while she was alive.

There are problems with all these suppositions. But I can think of no others. Thoughts?

Posted by Unknown at 11:21 AM 6 comments  

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Monday, December 21, 2009

The Great Virginia Snowfall of 2009

It’s not unusual to get snow in Northern Virginia in the winter months, though it is unusual to get two feet of it in one big dump. That’s about what we got Friday night through Sunday morning. It was light and dry and beautiful. The prospect of a white Christmas, so missed by my daughter and, made the weekend a cozy pleasure.

Of course, light, dry and beautiful snow only served to spotlight the idiots. Headlines today are full of the idiot plain clothes cop in DC who brandished his gun at some happy-go-lucky idiots having a snowball fight.

A few suggestions for my fellow Virginians:

  • If you can only drive 2 mph in a snowstorm, you shouldn’t be on the road. You are a menace.
  • Women who stand in the middle of the road watching their husbands shovel out the driveway must understand that they aren’t helping their husband and that they are a danger to themselves and others. YOU NEED TO MOVE when a car is coming down the street. If you are deaf and can’t hear the traffic, you need to stay indoors. Cars can hurt you, you imbecile.
  • The Virginia Department of Transportation should focus a little more on cleaning the ice-potholed secondary streets coated with an inch and a half of hard-pack snow and ice. Go to New York or Colorado and take in a seminar on the basics of snow removal if you have to. If I wreck my car because you are stupid, I’m going to sue you.
  • People who require a brisk morning constitutional should NOT walk on said snow-packed unclean secondary streets. See, snow and ice are fickle masters – they might drag my tires straight into you, you retard. Go plow out a trench around your house and walk around that.
  • People who think that it is the height of snowy fun to load your three year old on to a sleigh and slide down your snow covered street into on-coming traffic – sister, you deserve to win a Darwin Award. You should die and take your kid with you so it won’t infect other generations with your half-wit DNA.

Idiots.

Posted by Unknown at 3:20 PM 0 comments  

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Gunner's Got a Mom

Navy Son has loved animals since he was small. Well, with the exception of the kitten I brought home when he and Married Son were 1 and 2 1/2 (respectively). I remember bringing home a fine young calico. Both boys screamed in terror, climbed up my legs, and wept until the little ball of fur convinced them he wasn’t going to claw them to death. They eventually named him Bango.

When he was two years old and suffering from double-pneumonia, we bought Navy Son a Pound Purry for $2. He named her Missy and she went everywhere with him. She became part of the family.

Fast forward; a few dogs, a wild cat, and one Buddy later, Navy Son wants a hunting dog – enter Gunner. Male, tri-color beagle, roughly ten months old. Still a puppy really – full of piss and vinegar, killer of bunnies. But Navy Son is getting deployed soon and they don’t let dogs on subs. I drove down to get Gunner.

We became fast friends, Gunner and I – until we loaded him into the U-Haul. Gunner was shaking and unsure. I tried to engage him on our nine hour drive home, but he wasn’t having any. I bought him some treats that he carefully sniffed and declined. He just sat in the passenger seat and looked out the window. My heart broke.

He warmed up quickly once I got him home – jumped out of the truck, ran into the Daughter’s bedroom, announcing himself by pooping on the floor. Nice.

It had been years since Buddy had that much energy, and it was a delight. We bought Puppy Chow, chew bone things, treats, a squeaky quacky duck thing , and several balls with which to play. When unobserved, he rips up tissues and papers and I need to put things out of reach so he doesn’t gnaw on them.

He sleeps in my bed every night, usually at the top of my head, though sometimes he burrows into the blankets and keeps me warm. He bounds outside, loves to snuffle things up with that monster nose of his, and would eat the whole bag of food in one sitting if I left it where he could get at it. Of late, he has started staring creepily into a corner of the Daughter’s room growling and barking.

I imagine our apartment is haunted. Haunted with either the ghosts of Chick’s Dead Brides, or the young woman across the parking lot who was killed by her boyfriend back in April.

So, I find myself the Mom of a young gun once again. Jumping all over me when I get home, flying around the house, leaping on tennis balls, and wagging his tail like a windshield wiper in a downpour.

We still miss Buddy and think of him often. There’s no replacing a beloved member of the family. But we are distracted and enchanted by our new friend.

Posted by Unknown at 1:09 PM 0 comments  

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Friday, October 23, 2009

Mommy’s Got a Gun

Drove down to my son’s place in South Carolina last weekend.  You have to really love someone to drive 9 hours down I-95 South, in the rain on a Friday afternoon to help them pack their stuff into a Uhaul from a third floor apartment with no help from any burly young Naval officers.  Do it again if it meant spending 12 hours with any of my kids.  Parenthood – a synonym for insanity.

I re-learned a few other principle’s as well -

  • long trips are made to feel twice as long when you don’t have a Sirius Satellite radio in your vehicle
  • no cruise control sucks
  • AM radio reception has the same clarity today as it did in 1973
  • NPR is not a good substitute for anything
  • and the further south you travel, the more country-western channels populate FM waves

Brutal.  Made worse a few hours later by driving home at 2am (I had to get the truck back to Uhaul by 12:30 pm).  I was hoping Coast to Coast AM, the delightful paranormal AM program hosted by George Noory, would have a memorable guest on.  It wasn’t George, it was Ian someone and the show was not a memorable one.  Some noteworthy Coast to Coast AM programs (at least memorable to me):

  • A woman had a feral child in her basement.  She wanted to know how she could get near it and keep it.  Like a pet I presume.
  • Nancy Leider and her May 2003 apocalyptic warning that Planet X was about to crash into the earth.
  • Sylvia Browne’s prediction that the victims of the Sago Mine Disaster would be found alive.
  • Any show where a psychic predicts what will happen in the coming year.

Sigh*  Good show.  Wish they had it on Sirius.

So, I drove to South Carolina to help Navy Son pack stuff up.  He promised to make chicken curry for dinner (it was fabulous – I need to learn how to make that stuff) and we decided to go to a local shooting range to lob a few bullets around. 

I’ve never been to a shooting range before, nor have I ever shot a gun.  The experience was entirely new.  A shooting range smells and sounds like a bowling alley -- without the balls.  Bowling balls, I mean.  The walls are plenty drenched with testosterone – I could actually feel the hormone being leeched out of me.  Handguns, pistols, bows, scopes, AK27s, even cotton candy pink rifles with knives on the end were bought and sold as a matter of course.  Word on the street was that some yahoo walked in to a shooting range one day and tried to rob the place.  He was shot 48 times.  Idiot.  Walking into a facility where milling about were men who had been waiting 35 years for just such an opportunity. 

Navy Son had an M-16 and his friend had 2 pistols – one was a 9mm Sig Sauer.  We got 2 targets – one was the typical round target and the other was a white man holding a white woman hostage while he pointed a gun at you.  I presumed she was his emotionally abused whore jacked up on meth and he was using her as a shield to escape the police.  He never would have shot her, but he knew Johnny Law would do everything he could to save her worthless life.  I shot her in the neck.

I also shot him in the neck and head, but had less luck with the testicles than I had hoped.  He wasn’t de-manned, but he sure was gonna limp out of there.  Navy son disarmed him by shooting him several times in the hand. 

I was so delighted with the 9mm that I swung it around pointing it in my face to get a closer look and I think I scared the boys a bit.  They reached for me urging me to be careful.  It was still loaded and the safety was off, my hand was on the trigger.

I did that twice. 

Still, it was a thrill that I enjoyed immensely.  Worth the 18 hour drive alone really; but then so was the chicken curry and spending altogether too brief a time with the boy. 

And then I brought home Gunner; Navy Son’s beagle.

That’s a whole other story.

Posted by Unknown at 9:02 AM 0 comments  

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