Sunday, April 1, 2007

I'm Not a Movie Person

I am not a movie person.

This makes me a bit of a persona non grata in my family; a family full of "mov-ies". My family is populated with folks who feel the need to see the movies nominated for best picture because they should. I do not disparage this practice. As art, it is laudable. There are countless thousands of movies I think I ought to watch. "A Clockwork Orange", "2001 A Space Odyssey", "From Here to Eternity". I just, on a normal day, couldn't give a sh*t.

Since this opinion comes from someone who enjoys (coughcough*obsessed*coughcough) the occasional Korean drama, my asssessment is not taken seriously and usually, if not spat upon, it is sniggered at.

By the way? I need to say up front that I HATED The English Patient. The four longest hours of my life, wasted on trash. I was delighted that the whore died alone in the cave. DELIGHTED. I've only met one other person who didn't like it - my dear friend Ken. Thank God. I really thought I was the only one.


Anway, I'm not a mov-ie. There are, however, a few movies that I love. Movies that I will watch over and over again because they hit a sweet spot. And then within those movies, there will be a nugget; a small bit that makes me go "mmmmm".

Remarkably, none of them are porn.

I watched one of those movies today and it prompted me to write. The Full Monty "Six men, with nothing to lose, who dare to go..." The scene where they are all standing in the dole queue waiting to collect their unemployment checks and Donna Summer's song "Hot Stuff" comes on? Phenomenal.

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir is another one of those movies. NOT the television show, the movie. The scene where Captain Gregg is leaving Lucy forever. After having recognized that he's only serving to confuse the woman he has fallen in love with, the ghost of Captain Gregg leaning down, aching to touch his lips to hers, tells Lucy, "It was only a dream...Lucia" and he leaves her. oh, oh, oh. Beautiful.

Braveheart - So many scenes in that movie. I'm always moved, is it the Battle of Stirling, where Wallace says, "Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least for a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"

But that's not the scene I love. I love the scene where Princess Isabelle winds herself around the dying King and says, "You see? Death comes to us all. But before it comes to you, know this: your blood dies with you. A child who is not of your line grows in my belly. Your son will not sit long on the throne. I swear it!"

The Quiet Man- What a movie! The cinematography, the characters, everything in this movie touches me. The money shot for me though is when Mary Kate (Maureen O'Hara) runs screaming from Sean Thornton's (John Wayne) home and he grabs her by the hand and kisses her deeply while the wild wind blows and the thunder crashes until she submits to his manliness. Oough, what a scene!

The Princess Bride - "Inconceivable!" for me to come up with just one scene that I love. I suppose it has to be when Mandy Pantinkin corners Christopher Guest and says, "Offer me money!" "Yes" "Power too, promise that!" "All that I have and more, please!" "Offer me anything I ask for." "Anything you want." "I want my father back you son of a bitch!"

Young Frankenstein - "Abby something." "Abby something." "Yes, Abby...normal I think."
Monty Python and the Holy Grail - the whole damn movie is phenomenal I think. "There are other ways of telling if she is a witch." "Do they HURT?" "Some call me...Tim?!" "I soiled myself I was so scared!" "Five is right out!"
Bridget Jones - "No, I like you. Just as you are."
Lilo and Stitch - "This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good."
Zoolander - "Hansel! He's so hot right now! Hansel!"

OK, OK. I'll admit it, I've degraded. I mean who can seriously consider Zoolander one of the greatest films of all time? I don't really. I just like that line.

My movie love is limited, but once I love a movie, it's mine and I'm devoted.

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